gala_apples (gala_apples) wrote in hardcore_hp,

Title: Emotions
Rating: pg13
Pairing: Oliver/Percy
Summary: the only time Oliver can feel is when he's with Percy.
Squick Warnings: Paddling
A Disclaimer: These charecters are J.K.Rowlings.

Oliver is a brilliant Quidditch player, that he knows. Sure, some people would accuse him of vanity, but he personally thinks there's no difference between vanity and pride, and wasn't that the point of sports anyway, to make yourself proud?

He's great, and he gets a thrill off watching a new play that he's created actually work and make them score. But he sometimes thinks he doesn't feel real emotions at all. And it's all Percy's fault.

Is pride an emotion? When his younger brother mailed him muggle homework he gets 100% on, there was this one self-esteem paper. It asks Jonathan what three emotions he's felt, and to draw a picture of them. Sad, Happy and Mad have rubbed off on the back of the previous page, crayon isn't very durable apperantly. But if Jonathan's never felt pride, then maybe it's just him?

Either way, real emotion is the stuff that makes you cry, makes you wail, makes you shout. When they've won or lost, or Fred and George are ignoring his instructions, a little voice tells him in the back of his head, "it's time to yell now." When his grannie died, it told him, "shouldn't you be crying now?"

But when Percy hits him for the tenth time with the paddle that has holes the size of galleons in it, he moans without thinking. Percy's never demanded silence, and it's a good thing, because Oliver doesn't think he could stop making noise.

If emotions are things that happen to you, not because you tell them to happen, the only time he has them is when he's with Percy. Each session makes it clearer he's lacking something vital. Each time sound reverberates off stone, it mutes his inner voice, but the voice always comes back, and it's getting louder as Oliver is becoming more sure something's wrong with him.

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